


His Psychiatrist

by Lucifer_Jadezexus373



Series: Martin and Maureen's journey [4]
Category: Lethal Weapon (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 08:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9171541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucifer_Jadezexus373/pseuds/Lucifer_Jadezexus373
Summary: Maureen is on vacation when she gets a call from Roger telling her that Martin is suicidal and needs her help.





	

Maureen isn't sure what happened to Martin, but he’s almost always in a better mood. Eventually she felt like Martin didn’t need her every day so she decided to take a vacation. Almost the entire time, Maureen was expecting to hear from Martin, or even Roger, that something was wrong. Because she was so nervous, it wasn't much of a surprise when she got a frantic phone call from Roger.  
“Cahill, you need to get back here. Riggs is definitely not okay.”  
Maureen sighed, “What happened?”  
“Two days ago, there was a car crash and a girl died. It reminded Riggs of Miranda and then he lost killed the guy who was driving the other car. I went to see him yesterday and he wouldn't even talk to me.”  
“I’ll be back in three days,” Maureen said, “Do you think that’s soon enough?”  
Roger was silent for a moment, “I don’t know. When I walked into his trailer he had a gun to his head and her picture in his hands. I still don't think he could do it, but I think he’s smart enough to find some other way to get himself killed.”  
“Roger,” Maureen started, “Tell me if you think my patient is going to kill himself in the next three days, or if it can wait.”  
“I think that if you want to be sure he’ll still be alive by the time you’re back, you better get back here quickly,” Roger answered her.  
“Okay,” Maureen nodded, “I’ll be there by tonight.”  
“I’ll see you then,” Roger said, hanging up.  
As soon as she hung up Maureen started to pack her bags. She had been visiting her family in Illinois, which was a three hour flight from California. Thankfully, she was able to move up her flight, and so she went to her parent’s house to tell them she was leaving. Almost all of her family lived in Illinois and she had grown up there herself.   
She rang the doorbell before letting herself into her parent’s house, “Mom?” she called into the quiet house.  
“Maureen,” her mom said, coming down the stairs, “What’s going on?”  
Maureen hugged her mom before explaining, “I’m going back home today.”  
“Why? I thought you were leaving tomorrow,” her mom asked.  
Maureen took a deep breath and followed her mom into the living room saying, “I have a patient who’s in a really bad place. His partner called about an hour ago and he’s worried that he might kill himself.”  
Her mom raised her eyebrows, “Oh my God, that’s awful.”  
“I’m really worried about him,” Maureen said, leaning her head against the back of the couch, “I thought he was getting better, and then this happened and now I don’t know what to think.”  
Maureen’s mom took her hand, “It’s okay, I’m sure he’ll be fine.”  
“But what if he isn’t?” Maureen said nervously, “What if he isn’t and it’s my fault?”  
“It’s Martin, isn't it?” her mom asked.  
Maureen looked at her for a moment before nodding, “How did you know?”  
She smiled, “It’s pretty obvious.”  
“That’s not a very good answer,” Maureen complained, “Is Dad here?” she asked, standing up.  
“He’s upstairs, I’ll go get him,” Maureen’s mom said, leaving her in the living room.  
Sitting on her parents couch, Maureen tried to figure out what her mom meant about Martin. All she knew was she had to get to Martin as soon as she could.   
“Maureen,” her dad said, coming downstairs, “I wish you didn't have to go early, but I understand.”  
“Thanks, Dad,” she said, giving him a hug.  
“Goodbye, Baby,” her dad said, and Maureen smiled.   
Maureen gave her mom a hug and said, “I’ll call,” before walking out the door.   
There wasn't too much traffic, and the airport wasn't too crowded, but she just barely made it in time for her flight. The thought of Martin, alone in his trailer, was enough to make Maureen wish she could get back faster. She was hoping Roger was there, just to keep Martin from killing himself. Maureen got through the airport in Las Angeles quickly, and she got her car from the parking garage. While driving, Maureen decided to call Roger.  
“Maureen,” he called her by her first name, and the stress in his voice was evident.   
She brushed the hair out of her face, “Roger, are you with him?” she asked.  
“I just left. You better get here quick though. He’s not even that drunk, which is almost more worrying,” Roger said.  
“I’m on my way. I guess I’ll just go straight to his trailer,” she said.   
“Thank God, maybe he’ll be able to get it together. I haven't seen him this bad since…” Roger paused, “Since Christmas last year.”  
Maureen sighed, “I don't even know if I’ll be able to do anything. He never used to talk to me when it got that bad, and it hasn't gotten that bad in…in at least a year.”   
“He definitely responds better to you than he does to me,” Roger said.  
Maureen disagreed, “I’m not so sure. That definitely wasn't the way it was before.”  
“Things are different though. You changed him, you got through to him when no one else could.”  
Now Maureen was a little confused, but she just filed it away to deal with later, “I’ll be at Martin’s trailer in a few minutes,” she said.  
“I’ll let you go then. I just got home anyway,” Roger replied.  
“Bye Roger,” Maureen said.  
Before hanging up, he added, “Call me whenever you’re done with Martin.”  
“I will,” Maureen agreed.  
The rest of the ride was silent, and Maureen was trying to figure out what she was going to do with Martin. She would never be done with Martin. It had just started to seem like things were getting better, and now everything was crashing down and she didn't know what to do, all she knew was that she had to be there for him. If Martin was going to break down, she was going to be there with him.   
The sun was almost gone by the time Maureen gets to Martin’s trailer. She parked her car on the beach and walked up to his door. She wasn't sure how bad Martin was, but Roger seemed really worried. Maureen was just hoping he would talk to her. In recent times he always talked to her when things got bad, but before that he would find any excuse not to talk to her.  
Maureen nervously knocked on the door, "Martin, it's me," she calls.  
"It's open," Martin replied after a moment.  
Maureen walked in and his trailer looked the same as it always does. It smelled like alcohol and it looked like the house of an alcoholic, "Martin," she says, looking at him sitting on the couch.  
Martin picked his head up and bloodshot eyes looked up at her through long eyelashes, "What?" he asked.  
"How drunk are you?" Maureen sat down, careful not to kick Martin's dog who was sitting loyally at his feet.  
"Not as drunk as I wish I was," Martin answered.  
"Why's that?"  
He shrugged, "You," he turned to look at her before adding, “and Rog. I know that it doesn't really help, even though I wish it did."  
Maureen looked over at Martin who was holding a cup of whiskey in his left hand. After studying him for a moment, Maureen reached out with her left hand and took his hand in her own.  
Martin grasped Maureen's hand tighter, "I don't know what happened, Doc. It took me back, and I couldn't control myself. I just wanted things to be right."  
"Martin it's okay. You want to get justice for your wife, but it's not the other driver's fault. The answer isn't blaming people, or holding grudges," Maureen said, looking down at their hands.  
Martin finished his glass of alcohol and looked at Maureen, "How am I supposed to do that?"  
"You have to forgive. You have to talk to people, like you're talking to me now. And it's gonna take time, Martin. All the best things do. Healing takes time."  
Martin looked over at her, trying not to think about Miranda, "What time is it?" he asked.  
Maureen glanced at her watch, "9:45."  
"I don't want to sleep," he said.  
Maureen nodded, "Because of the dreams?"  
"Yup," Martin said.  
Maureen turned Martin's hand over in her lap, "When is the last time that you slept?" she asked.  
Martin shrugged, "A couple days," not only was he tired, he was depressed. He didn't want to talk to Roger, and he definitely didn't want to talk to Maureen. She reminded him too much of Miranda. Not because of the way she looked or her personality, just because she cared about him. Martin could tell that Maureen cared about him more than anyone else he knew. First of all he didn't want that, and second of all he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve her time, much less her love. And he definitely didn't deserve her respect. She came all the way from Chicago because she thought he was suicidal, that's not normal in any kind of relationship.  
"You need to sleep," Maureen said, bringing Martin back from his thoughts.  
"I thought you were on vacation," Martin said, preferring to talk about her.  
Maureen's answer was simply, "I came back early."  
Martin shook his head, "It's not real, is it?"  
"What?" Maureen was confused.  
"You always say that you care about me, that we're friends. You've been saying it for over a year, and I believed you. But this isn't what friendship looks like, this isn't normal, okay Doc," he said looking at her.  
"I don't know what you're talking about, Martin," Maureen replied, more confused than hurt.  
"Sure you do. There's no reason for us to be friends. It's stupid. I'm your patient, and so you tell me what I need to hear. Why else would you say that you care about me, what have I really done to deserve that," Martin pulled his hand away from her and said sarcastically, "You give me advice and make me feel better when I'm sad," he paused again, "You're damn good at your job, Maureen, but it's not fair to say that we're friends. It's not fair to you."  
She shook her head, "You're being absolutely ridiculous, I hope you know that. I would never lie to you, Martin. It's my job to help people without getting attached, but I couldn't stop myself from getting attached to you. You're a good man, Martin. You're brave and kind and a good friend. And I care about you more than you can imagine," Maureen said, trying to sort out what was real and what wasn't. Of course she wouldn't lie to him, but it was starting to sound like too much, "What I'm trying to say is that you're my patient first but you're also my friend. So I'm going to come home early if I think you need me to, and I'm always going to be here for you. Just like Roger and Trish and everyone who cares about you Martin. You don't have to doubt that,” Maureen took his hand back. And she looked at him, and he looked like hell, but she didn't care. And she could smell the alcohol, and she could she how broken he still was. Even after years there would still be days like this.   
Maureen realized that there would always be days like this, when he needed her to hold his hand and tell him it would all be okay while he cried for his wife who he loved more than anyone else in the world. And that's when Maureen realized that no matter what their relationship was like, he would always love Miranda more, and she was okay with that. Because she knew that if she wasn't in Martin's life he would probably be dead, and then she wouldn't be able to live with herself. So it didn't really matter how she felt about him, it would probably take him years to feel that way anyway. It wasn't about what she felt, it was about what Martin needed, and he needed her, so she was going to be there for him, in whatever way he wanted. Because Maureen wasn't going to give up on him, she wanted him, even if that meant being whatever he needed her to be. And at that moment he needed her to be his psychiatrist.  
“Come here,” Maureen said, wrapping her arms around Martin and hugging him tightly. She whispered into his ear as she felt tears landing on her shoulder, “This is real, Martin. I’m here and it’s real and I care about you.”  
Martin shuddered, “I want her though, I want her back.”  
“I know, Martin,” Maureen said, “But she’s not coming back,” Maureen knew he needed to cry, he needed to feel the pain. He had told her a long time ago, that the pain was all he had left, and it wasn't any less profound now. He was so smart and so strong, but he had such a capacity to love. He gave all of his love to Miranda, and then it was taken away from him. That’s not something you just ‘get over’.   
“I’m sorry,” Martin whispered.   
Maureen was trying not to think about his hands on her back as she said, “There’s nothing to be sorry for. Nothing at all.”  
He nodded, “I miss her so much,” was all he could say.   
“It’s okay, Martin. I’ve got you,” Maureen whispered, “Everything is going to be ok,” because Maureen believed that things would be okay, as long as they were together, and Martin was trying to move on. He couldn't do it on his own though, and so Maureen would help him, because he needed her. But as he fell asleep next to her, his hand still holding hers tightly, she couldn't help but think about where their relationship was going. He was right, it definitely wasn't normal, but it was real. They were friends, and she was his psychiatrist.


End file.
